Shadow of a Name
by Just 2 Dream of You
Summary: One-shot: In all his life there's always been one thing he hated the most; His name. Slight Hiei/Botan


Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

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Shadow of a Name

X -x-x-x-x- X

He always hated his name. Although, really it was a matter of hating himself. His name was just part of it. Most people never learned his name. They never had time to when they saw a blur of black and red before they died. When people did learn his name, it was always screamed in fear and disgust. How ironic that his name would be as hated as him.

In Glacial Village he didn't have a name. They called him the Imiko, or the Forbidden Child. Cast away without a name, he started out life with no sense of self. All he had was hate and emptiness.

The bandits that found him were the ones who named him. They had no idea of the infant's powers but somehow they managed to pick a name that was fitting. Swift Shadow was the perfect name for him. Also ironically, the first two letters of his name meant fire. When he learned that it made him hate it even more.

The bandit children would make fun of him, teasing him as he did his daily chores. Unfortunately, he had no grasp of his powers in the beginning of his life, so he was forced to be a slave. The children would always taunt him, saying his name with the same tone. "Worth-less! Worth-less!" Or at least that's how it sounded.

He also hated saying his name. Today when anyone asks he usually ignores them, making someone else answer. When he does answer it's always with a glare, barely audible, and rushed. Some people might think it was shyness, or annoyance, but if you knew him you would know it was self hatred. You could tell in the way he said his name, dripping with vile loathing and anger. His eyes would always be looking away or cast downward.

One person in particular thought it was sad how he hated himself.

"Hey, wake up." He pretended like he didn't hear her.

A huff was heard along with a threat; "Don't make me get my oar."

"Like you could touch me."

"Oh, so you are awake! Well, then, it's time to come in and eat."

"No."

"Oh come on, Yukina made sweet and sour pork! I had a bite and it's really good!"

"No."

"Wha...? You would disappoint Yukina? Shame on you!"

"Like she actually wants me there."

"Well of course she does! She's the one who asked me to come get you!"

A small hint of red could be seen peeking out from under his eyelid.

She was dressed in a light summer dress that came just above the knee. It was white with pale pink flowers printed on it. Her usual pony tail was wafting in the breeze, and her arms were behind her with a gentle smile on her face. He always wondered how she stayed so happy.

"Are you coming?"

"I don't need to be there. Go away."

The smile disappeared and a frown appeared. Her arms came to the front and crossed.

"Ugh! Why are you so stubborn? Everyone is inside having a good time while you sit in a tree and sulk for no good reason! When are you going to see that everyone cares about you?"

Red eyes looked away and scoffed.

"Really they do! Sure they all may not like you but they care."

He looked down at her with a fierce glare.

"Oop! That's not what I - Oh, fooey! That didn't come out right! You see, what I meant was…"

"You said exactly what you meant. Now _leave_."

"Wait! Don't be mad! I really didn't mean that!"

"Oh, so they do like me then? Don't make me laugh."

"Well most of them do I think. Let's see...Kurama does obviously...Yusuke does...Shizuru and Keiko don't really know you...Kuwabara hates you but I know on the inside he kinda likes you...Genkai, eh...And I know Yukina likes you...And I do..." The last part was finished with a blush.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Hmm?"

"I threaten to kill you every day."

"So? I know you won't do it. No matter what you say, I know you won't do it."

Without a word he disappeared only to reappear with his sword to her neck. Much to his shock, she didn't move. After all the times she got nervous and scared, here she was with his sword to her neck and she didn't even flinch.

"See? You didn't hurt me. You would _never_ hurt me."

He sheathed his sword and 'hnned.' "Your day will come."

She rolled her eyes. "Well now that you're out of the tree, whad'ya say we get some dinner?"

"What is it?"

"Ugh, sweet and sour pork. Yukina slaved over the stove for _hours_ making it." She said with a sly smile.

"Fine."

A bright wide smile came on her face. "Great! Let's go! Come on, Hiei!" She shouted running towards the temple.

He slowly walked towards the temple in his usual bored pace. No matter how much she called him he stayed behind. Partly because he didn't want to run with her in any way, but mostly because of the small smile that was creeping on his lips.

Although her voice usually annoyed him, in that moment it felt like music.

It was the way she spoke his name. No hatred, no disgust, and no fear. It sounded happy and joyful, like saying his name was no problem at all. Like she _loved_ saying it.

"Hiei! Come on!" She was giggling and laughing as she ran.

Yes, he always hated his name, but whenever she said it he learned to like it a little more.

~End


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